Monday, July 06, 2009

The Art of Appreciation!

Indians, in general think very highly of their culture and I as one take pride of the same. But sometimes the love for our own culture results in looking down or being blind to other cultures. There are good and bad points in every culture and recognizing the differences is the key to be respectful to every nation's culture.
Indians who have never traveled to US or lived here hold a very different view of America and its culture. They think that US is mostly about lack of family structure, divorces, rampant public display of affection and more. Mind you that when I say most Indians, I do not mean all and everyone. I just mean that this is the impression I get and not every single person comes under the umbrella of Indians that I am talking about here. Since I have been living here for so long, I can see that the views held by so many are incorrect and not as prevalent as they think. They are many aspects of American culture that we wish aren't there but at the same time there are many good things about the culture of this country and its people.

What I want to talk about today is about is the Art of Appreciation that most Americans possess. In India, people would never say "Thank You" or "Appreciate It" to cashiers, electricians, plumbers or anyone who performs a paid service for them. Paying for the service is considered enough. Here, almost everyone says these kind words as an act of courteousness towards the other person. When I first came to US, I would feel odd and weird as to how everyone says "thank you" like its no big deal. I would think that they don't really mean it and still say it and that's rude. But having stayed here for longer time, I have learnt why it is important to say two words to a person. It always feels good to be appreciated or acknowledged. Even spouses utter these words to each other.
I am sure the Indian generation is changing and I haven't had close contact with them but there are still many who need to assimilate this particular good from the American culture. I think the bottom line behind saying these words of acknowledgement is not taking for granted any relationship or person. Sometimes, people do say things just to make the other person feel important and they don't really believe it. Many years back, I would have thought of it as a bad thing but today I would say that at least an effort was made for someone. It is a classic Dale Carnegie principle. There is an old bollywood song - "pal bhar ke liye koi hume pyar kar le, jhootha hi sahi" which means "Love me just for a moment even if its fake". Everyone likes to be appreciated, liked and loved. It doesn't cost anything except few kind words to make them feel that way, so what's the harm in doing it.

Just because I am friends with you, married to you or related to you does not mean I am not worthy of being acknowledged. Even if its my duty to do something for you, if I did it right, say so.

And even though I am from India, I like living in the suburbs, I like my privacy and I like that no houses are behind my house. I do not like uncalled interference from others or random Indian aunties asking me about baby plans. If other Indians consider it "unIndian", please do by all means since everyone is entitled to their opinion but don't hold your breath!

No comments: